


Everything I Need and More

by hourglassmermaid



Series: Shadowhunters Prompts [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Is A Mess, Angst and Humor, Condoms, Gay Panic, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Mild Sexual Content, POV Alec Lightwood, Post 3x10, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 17:42:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14959133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hourglassmermaid/pseuds/hourglassmermaid
Summary: [Prompt] 10. “Come here.”He can’t tell Magnus the truth, not when he’s dealing with so much worse, so Alec exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding and pockets his phone. He turns back to the rainbow of intimidation and blindly selects a box.“Magnums, nice,” says a voice that is so irritatingly familiar and unwanted that Alec’s sure the Angel is punishing him for something.Alec opens his eyes and silently stares down Simon. Simon’s gaze flickers below Alec’s waist, and Alec wants to die. He wants Raziel to swoop down from heaven or wherever the hell he hangs out and smite the fuck out of him. Anything would be better than standing in a Brooklyn CVS at midnight while Simon tries to figure out how big his dick is.





	Everything I Need and More

**Author's Note:**

> Hey gang! Bet you forgot about me since it's been a hot second since I posted a prompt (is it still a prompt/ficlet if the story tops out at 4K :^) ) things have been wonky with me writing wise because I'm participating in the [SH Hiatus Bang](https://shhiatusbang.tumblr.com/) and because of the cancellation news... #SAVESHADOWHUNTERS
> 
> To say this one got away from me is a monumental understatement, but I had an idea for a fic that focused on all of the nuances of Magnus & Alec's first time post Magnus losing his magic, and I thought I could work in one of the prompts to write it. What came out of that is some emotional sex & Alec having an existential crisis over buying condoms! 
> 
> Much love to my betas [Meyer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meyer) and [Cave_Bob_Sponge_Man](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cave_Bob_Sponge_Man) (yay you finally have an ao3 so now people will know that I use two betas !!) for fixing all of my messes with this fic <3
> 
> As always, I'm on [tumblr](http://hourglassmermaid.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/?logged_out=1&lang=en) (when I'm not shadowbanned)!
> 
> Title comes from [Halo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnVUHWCynig) by Beyonce.

Alec stares at the wall of brightly colored boxes. It’s like a sea filled with tropical fish. Except instead of a sea, it’s an aisle at the pharmacy, and instead of fish, they're little safety nets so he can have sex with his boyfriend. His newly mundane boyfriend. 

Alec’s an adult. He can do this… or maybe not. _By the Angel_ , he should've prepared more for this. He figured this would be easy, just pop into CVS for a quick minute before he's writhing beneath Magnus. How was he supposed to know there would be so many damn types to choose from?

His eyes gloss over each of the packages. _Trojan. Durex. SKYN._ And those are just the brand names. 

_Ultra Ribbed_. He reaches out and grabs the box, turning it over in his hands. _Deep ribs designed to increase stimulation_ , reads the back of the box. That sounds promising. Would Magnus like that? Would Alec? He hesitates and hooks it back onto the rail.

His eyes scan down the row. Should he get the extra large? Magnus definitely has a lot to cover. Alec’s hand hovers over the box. 

He vividly remembers Izzy rolling a condom down her forearm once without it breaking and her proudly proclaiming that was why she refused to sleep with any guy who said he was “too big for a condom.” At the time, Alec was horrified to learn so much about his baby sister but also relieved to know she wasn't getting pregnant. Now he's just confused. 

He bypasses them for now, possibly coming back to them later. _Tropical Flavored Condoms_. Oh, so Magnus’ dick can taste like mango. No, there's absolutely no way. He couldn't look the cashier in the eye; they'd _know_.

_Ecstasy_. Here’s hoping. _BareSkin_. Now that seems precarious. _Fire & Ice_. Maybe not.

His phone vibrates in his back pocket. He draws it out to find a text from Magnus. 

_[From: Magnus] [Received: 11:26 PM]_  
 _How's it going, love?_

Alec scratches the back of his neck. How the hell is he supposed to answer? _Hey, sorry, babe, even though we’ve been sleeping together for weeks, I can’t even pick up a box of condoms! Looks like our sex life is ruined forever! Oh, and should I pick up milk while I’m out? Love you, bye!_

Instead, he types out a lie to buy himself more time. 

_[To: Magnus] [Sent: 11:29 PM]_   
_All set! Just picking up a few more things to make tonight extra special_

He’ll stop at the bodega down the street and pick up a carton of strawberries and a bottle of Magnus’ favorite Port wine to make it seem like this was his plan all along. 

_[From: Magnus] [Sent: 11:30 PM]_   
_Hurry back or I’ll have to start without you ;)_

Alec knows it’s an empty threat, that Magnus is only teasing, but his stomach still clenches reading the text because it confirms Alec’s suspicions that Magnus is even less okay than he’s been letting on. He always jokes and plays like this to deflect when something’s eating him alive. 

Magnus is wearing a mask, so no one, not even Alec, will see how the loss of his magic gnaws away at him. But Alec’s as attuned to Magnus as the ocean to the moon. Alec notices every hasty flinch under his touch, every subtle tensing of Magnus’ shoulders, every carefully manipulated smile. But this just confirms that it’s so much worse than Alec imagined. 

He shouldn’t be surprised, really. Magnus is a very convincing actor, after all, and Alec’s only just beginning to tear away at all his layers. Alec wishes he could shoulder the weight, take away some of the hurt shrouding Magnus so he can breathe. Maybe then the air won’t feel so tenuous whenever they’re together. 

Their evening began in disaster, which seemed to be the recurring theme these days. Alec slumped through the door to the loft, toeing off his boots and dumping his weapons on the floor. The Institute had been a fucking nightmare. He was still drowning in the aftermath of Lilith’s reign of terror — paperwork, conference calls, and extra patrols. All he wanted was a distraction from the day’s headaches. 

He’d wanted Magnus shaped distractions, preferably between golden silk sheets or up against a lacquered wall. He wasn’t picky, just needy and impatient. At the time, Magnus had seemed just as eager to indulge, giving as much as he received. 

Alec brushed a trail of kisses down Magnus’ neck, lavishing his collarbone with attention, alternating between biting, sucking, and soothing the sensitive skin. The moans escaping from Magnus’ lips were everything Alec had been craving, everything he had been needing to escape.

Alec’s hands drifted to the intricate lacing of Magnus’ blouse, fumbling to untie it. 

“I never did learn how to undo a bodice,” Alec murmured in between kisses. 

“I suppose I’ve spoiled you,” Magnus said with a quiet chuckle. 

That’s when Alec first noticed that Magnus was hiding. The way he wouldn’t meet Alec’s gaze, a forced smile, an empty laugh — banter used to play off the reminder of what he’d lost. 

Every other time Alec fucked up undressing him, Magnus would banish their clothing with the snap of his fingers, and they’d just ignore Alec’s inadequacies in favor of a fuck. But everything’s different now. Magnus had to swat away Alec’s hands and get himself naked just to keep things moving. Alec buried down that humiliation, that failure to ruminate over later. 

With miles of skin exposed, Alec walked them to the bedroom, his lips never leaving Magnus’. Magnus pushed Alec on the bed, crawling towards him with the feral grace of a cat. He made quick work of pulling off Alec’s shirt and undoing his pants. Alec followed suit with Magnus’ slacks.

Stripped down to their boxers, Magnus slipped a finger beneath Alec’s waistband; that’s where it all fell apart. 

“Wait, should we, um-” Alec lowered Magnus hand so it rested next to Alec’s head on the pillow. Magnus halted immediately, never pushing, never pressuring, always so perceptive. 

Alec swiped his tongue across his lips. “Should we use protection?” 

Magnus’ eyes widened as he sat back on his heels, seemingly miles away — not exactly ideal for Alec’s intentions. 

Alec sat up on his elbows, trying to recapture Magnus’ attention. “I know we don’t usually, but since you’re… We don’t know… I just think-”

Magnus held up two fingers to quiet Alec’s babbling. “Of course, angel. It makes sense, and I never want to put you in a situation where you feel uncomfortable.” He took Alec’s hand and rubbed circles onto his palm, trying to collect his thoughts. 

Before Alec could object that he could never feel uncomfortable with Magnus — the farthest thing from it, actually — Magnus spoke. “It’s just… I don’t have anything here, and I can’t-”

“I’ll go,” Alec supplied, so Magnus wouldn’t have to voice a reality he’d rather forget. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’ll just take a second.” 

Alec rolled out of bed and nearly tripped on the rug trying to tug his jeans back on. He slipped his shoes on without socks and forwent a belt altogether, noticing his t shirt was on inside out when he reached the foyer. He fully zipped up his leather jacket to try and hide how much of a Nephilim disaster he truly was. 

Magnus has shown him enough mundane romantic comedies to know that in these situations it’s always best to hurry if there’s any hope of salvaging the mood. Alec knows he’s taking too long, that as soon as he slinks back home (probably empty handed at this point) Magnus will suggest they cuddle instead, and Alec will succumb to all of his swirling guilt and frustration because he can’t even do _this_ right.

He can’t just be a warm body for Magnus to lose himself in — to forget how fucked up his life is. Magnus is mourning the loss of himself, and Alec’s panicking over buying the right condoms. 

He can’t tell Magnus the truth, not when he’s dealing with so much worse, so Alec exhales a breath he didn’t know he was holding and pockets his phone. He turns back to the rainbow of intimidation and blindly selects a box. 

“ _Magnums_ , nice,” says a voice that is so irritatingly familiar and unwanted that Alec’s sure the Angel is punishing him for _something_. 

Alec opens his eyes and silently stares down Simon. Simon’s gaze flickers below Alec’s waist, and Alec wants to die. He wants Raziel to swoop down from heaven or wherever the hell he hangs out and smite the fuck out of him. Anything would be better than standing in a Brooklyn CVS at midnight while Simon tries to figure out how big his dick is.

“I, uh… They’re, um, for-” Alec takes a deep breath. _Get it together, Lightwood_. “I don’t need to explain myself to you. And I’m up here, vampire.” 

Color bleeds into Simon’s cheeks as his eyes shift to Alec’s hairline, his ears, anywhere but his icy gaze. Alec didn’t even know vampires could blush. 

“Sorry! I mean I always figured you were, you know, _gifted_ down there.” He makes a vague gesture towards Alec’s crotch. “And now was as good a time as any to check for myself, and-”

“ _By the Angel_ , will you please shut up?” Alec asks, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“You got it, chief,” Simon says, snapping to attention. “Sorry, I’m probably keeping you from Magnus.” 

Alec sighs and releases his grip, none of his tension relieved. “No, I’ve got that covered.” 

Simon tilts his head to the side. “I know we’re not exactly friends-”

“Nope.”

“Right, but is everything alright?” 

Alec searches for signs that Simon’s digging for something. He can’t conceive any scenario where Simon would willingly subject himself to Alec’s problems. They’ve barely spoken a couple of sentences to each other in the last month, and even less before then. They’re not friends. Acquaintances, maybe. Probably allies. 

“I’m not gonna burden you with my problems. You’re probably busy, anyways,” Alec says. 

“Not really,” Simon says, rolling on his heels and stuffing his hands into his pockets. “I’m just trying to kill time before Maia gets off work.” He smiles at Alec. “Seriously, lay it on me.” 

Alec’s more desperate than he realized. “Have you ever, um, had to buy these before?” 

“Oh God, yeah! My first girlfriend, Katie Stevens, insisted that we use ‘em. And Maureen was on the pill, but you can never be too careful. Didn’t use them with Clary, though. But Maia and I-” Simon scans Alec’s face and must note the way all his color seems to be disappearing into a void. Simon scratches at the back of his head and lets out an awkward laugh. “You definitely don’t wanna hear any of this.” 

Alec shakes his head ‘no.’ “I just wanted to know…” Alec wets his chapped lips. “Do you have any recommendations?” 

“Oh, you’ve never had to… Don’t worry, I got you!” Simon plucks a box off the shelf without hesitation and gives it to Alec.

“ _Trojan ENZ_?” Alec questions, flipping over the light blue box in his hands. 

“They’re sturdy, lubricated,” Simon tells him as Alec reads the back. “Pretty standard when you don’t know what to get.” 

Alec will still need to grab a bottle of lube as these definitely won’t be enough, but for the first moment all night, he feels some of the tension drain from his shoulders. “Thank you, Simon.”

“No, problem. I’m picking up a box myself.” 

Alec grimaces but nods. It’d be hypocritical of him to ask Simon to change the subject after all but begging for his help with his own sex life. 

Finding the lube is about a million times easier as he just grabs the same bottle Magnus always uses. 

“Wait, is that water-based?” Simon asks. 

Alec checks the label. “Yeah, why?” 

“Okay, good. You can only use water or silicone-based lubes with condoms or else they’ll break.” 

“Oh,” Alec says, “thanks for the tip.” 

Alec’s phone vibrates, and he slides it out of his pocket. Another text from Magnus. He glances at the time before unlocking his phone. He’s _definitely_ taking way too long here. He opens his messenger app to see what Magnus has to say.

_[From: Magnus] [Sent: 11:42 PM]_   
_Told you._

There’s a picture attached. Magnus is spread out on their bed, the sheets crumpled beside him. He wears an emerald dressing gown that’s fastened loosely around his hips, a sliver of bronze skin peaking through. One of his hands dips below the fabric belt, inviting him in. Magnus’ eyes are closed, and his perfect lips form an ‘oh.’ Alec needs to get home immediately.

“Text from the mister?” Simon asks.

Alec nods but refuses to make eye contact. If he makes eye contact, then Simon will _know_. He holds his phone closer to his face, so there’s no chance of Simon seeing his screen. He taps out a quick reply and hits send.

_[To: Magnus] [Sent: 11:43 PM]_   
_Sorry. Ran into Simon._

Magnus’ response is instantaneous.

_[From: Magnus] [Sent: 11:43 PM]_   
_Please don’t mention him when I’m touching myself, darling._

Alec combusts. The color that flushes his face rivals that of a fire engine. Sweat drips down the back of his neck, and he wipes it away. His mouth is dry. He needs to get home. _Now_.

_[From: Magnus] [Sent: 11:44 PM]_   
_In all seriousness, is everything alright? Want me to come meet you?_

_[To: Magnus] [Sent: 11:44 PM]_   
_No, it’s fine. I’m on my way now._

Alec draws his phone back into his pocket and looks heavenward. He counts to ten before facing Simon. 

“Seems like he’s antsy,” Simon notes.

“Something like that.”

They walk towards the registers. Simon places a hand on Alec’s chest to direct him towards the self-checkout. Alec glances over at the only cashier on duty. Excellent call on Simon’s part. Alec couldn’t survive that interaction with a woman who looks too much like his grandmother. 

Simon scans a can of _Arizona_ iced tea and places it in one of the plastic bags. “How is Magnus doing after everything?” he asks, back turned to Alec. 

“He’s adjusting,” Alec says. “I hope.” 

Simon pulls out his debit card from the card reader and files it away in his wallet. “I feel for him. Like… You go your whole life as one thing, and then something huge happens, and suddenly you’re someone else entirely.” He takes his things from the bagging area and faces Alec. “Does that make any sense?” 

“Yeah,” Alec agrees, because it does. 

He sets his items down on the belt and adds a couple packages of gum and a magazine to try and mask his purchases from the prying eyes of the soccer mom next to them. He scans the magazine and drops it into a bag. Maybe Alec’s been missing something crucial. He scans the condoms and lube in quick succession, nestling them in the bag. Maybe Magnus isn’t mourning the loss of himself but trying to reconcile with a version he’s never met. Alec scans the gum and pays for his items. He folds a precise crease into his receipt and tucks it into his wallet. 

“Didn’t know you kept up with the Kardashians,” Simon muses.

“What’s a Kardashian?” Alec asks. 

“The magazine,” Simon says, pointing at Alec’s bag. “See this exclusive picture of Kylie Jenner’s baby or whatever.”

Alec raises an eyebrow. “Who?” 

“You know what? Never mind. Let’s get you home to your man.”

They walk down the street in silence. Simon joins Alec when he pops into the bodega for wine and strawberries and snorts when the man behind the counter comments, “Big plans with your lady?” Alec’s too mortified to say anything, so he just nods. 

When they reach the loft, Alec pauses, not sure where to go from here. Simon must sense his hesitance, because he decides to take the lead. 

“Maia should be getting off any minute, so I’ll just head out,” he says, turning on his heel and walking away.

“Wait, Simon,” Alec calls. Simon halts and spins around. “Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it. Hope you guys have a good night.”

“Yeah, you too.” And he means it. Alec wets his lips. “Do you wanna hang out sometime? Get a drink, maybe?” 

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Alec has no idea why he says them. He and Simon aren’t friends; Simon and Izzy are friends. He was probably only helping Alec as some kind of surrogate favor to her. 

Simon’s eyes widen. “Yeah, that would be cool!” 

“Okay, great,” Alec says, and Simon grins at him, fangs and all. 

They say their final goodbyes, and Alec climbs the steps to the loft. He feels like he’s gearing up for a hunt. He’s armed with weapons, he’s plotting an attack strategy, and he has a clear mission objective. He lets out a breath and turns the knob. Hopefully, he’s not about to walk into a battlefield. 

He steps into the kitchen to wash the strawberries and grab some wine glasses. He arranges the berries in one of Mangus’ crystal bowls and places it on a tray. He sets down two stemless wine glasses next to the bowl. He grabs the tray, the wine, and his pharmacy purchases and sets off for the bedroom. 

Alec shoulders the door open, and nudges it closed behind him. The room is illuminated in a soft glow from about a dozen candles. 

“Candles?” Alec asks, setting the bag and tray down on the nightstand. 

“You said you had surprises for me, so I wanted to have some for you,” Magnus says.

He lounges on top of the covers, an arm lazily thrown behind his head. His eyes follow Alec as he moves about the room, his presence radiates command. 

Magnus wears the same dressing gown from earlier, the tantalizing green contrasted against his dark skin. The fabric bunches at his waist, struggling to keep him covered. It’s a tease for what’s to come. 

“It’s perfect,” Alec says, but something unpleasant twists in his stomach. Magnus shouldn’t be exerting any extra effort on Alec’s behalf; Alec should be the one pulling out all of the stops for him. 

Magnus smiles, looking up at him from under his lashes. “Come here,” he coaxes, voice dripping with honey. Alec will never deny him anything, especially such a sweet request.

He kicks off his boots and shakes off his jacket. He’ll pick them up tomorrow. He climbs on the bed, as drawn to Magnus as the earth to the sun — swept up in his light. Alec grazes his teeth against Magnus’ lower lip, breath sending shivers down Magnus’ spine as he whispers, “Sorry for taking so long.” 

Magnus flips them over. “Make it up to me.” Magnus grinds down, and Alec sees stars. 

Alec tangles his fingers in Magnus’ hair, closing the distance between them. Their lips meet and searing heat surges through Alec’s veins. He wants, he needs Magnus just as much as Magnus needs him.

Magnus’ hands drift to the hem of Alec’s shirt, urging it off. His skilled fingers shift to Alec’s buckle, freeing him of his jeans. Magnus wastes no time in stripping Alec down to his boxers. 

“I’ve forgotten-” Magnus swipes his tongue across Alec’s deflect rune, earning him a gasp. “-how intimate it can be to undress someone by hand.” 

Maybe this is how Alec can help him through, by reintroducing Magnus to all of the pleasures of humanity. The simple gestures, the small details he used to bypass in favor of sorcery. It’s not much, but it’s something. 

“May I?” Alec asks.

“Of course.”

Alec pulls at the fabric belt, and Magnus’ dressing gown flutters down his shoulders, revealing swaths of untouched skin. The garment shrouds him in a sea of silk, a vision out of Alec’s deepest fantasies with Magnus rocking down in his lap. 

Alec caresses Magnus’ cheek with the back of his hand. “You’re so beautiful.” 

Magnus takes Alec’s hand and presses it against his chest, against his heart. “And I’m all yours.” 

Alec will never take that for granted. 

He wraps his arms around Magnus’ neck, pulling him closer. He joins their lips in an another kiss, but it’s slower, deeper this time. Magnus sucks on Alec’s lower lip, biting ever so gently, and Alec keens. 

Without separating their hungry lips, Magnus slides Alec’s boxers down his legs. He coaxes Alec down into the pillows. He trails open mouthed kisses down Alec’s neck, his chest, his hips, dipping lower and lower. He nibbles at the insides of Alec’s thighs, driving him over the edge with anticipation. 

Alec squeezes Magnus’ ass, earning him a yelp. Magnus smirks. “Where did you-”

“The bag on the nightstand,” Alec replies before Magnus can even finish his sentence.

Magnus has waited long enough; Alec’s not going to make him wait any longer.

Alec hears rustling as Magnus retrieves the condoms and lube. He throws them down beside Alec. “Excellent choice.”

“Thanks, I had a little help.” Alec’s eyes widen as soon as he realizes what he said. Magnus opens his mouth to question, but Alec crashes their lips together before he can ask, words disappearing on his tongue. Magnus hums deep in his throat. 

He uncaps the lube and slicks up his fingers, circling around Alec’s warmth before entering him. He stretches the sensitive muscles, curls his fingers into a come hither motion that has Alec wriggling beneath him.

When Alec’s relaxed enough, Alec reaches for a condom packet. He tries ripping it open with his teeth, but he gets stuck on the foil. Magnus suppresses a laugh, but he beams down at Alec. Alec never wants to stop capturing Magnus’ gaze; he always wants to make him smile like this — he always wants to be wanted like this. 

Alec tears open the packet and rolls the condom down Magnus, taking his time to work Magnus over. He envelops Magnus’ length in a generous layer of lube. Magnus levels with him, silently asking, ‘are you ready?’ Alec nods, and Magnus slides a pillow under the small of Alec’s back.

Alec relishes in the burn, the pressure as Magnus glides inside him. Magnus waits for Alec’s cue before moving — always so careful, always to tender and attentive. Alec circles his hips to signal that he’s ready.

Magnus’ thrusts are shallow at first, easing his way in, but at Alec’s insistence they grow deeper, filling Alec completely. Alec clings to Magnus, meeting each languid roll of his hips with his own. Their chests brush, breaths melding as one, and Alec can’t stop thinking how lucky he is to have this. They build up a rhythm, melody and harmony blending together to reach crescendo. 

“I love you,” Alec cries as the prickling sensation in his abdomen becomes unbearable. “I love you so much.” 

Magnus pants into his mouth, chasing his own release. “I love you, angel,” he breathes, more air than bravado. 

When they come back to earth, Magnus climbs off of Alec and disposes of the condom. He cuddles up to Alec, nuzzling into his neck. Alec kisses the top of Magnus’ head. He’ll cling to this forever. 

They lay in silence for several minutes just relishing in the afterglow before Alec finally speaks, “I bought wine and strawberries.” 

“My sweet man,” Magnus muses, but his tone turns quiet. “Thank you for not leaving.”

Alec cups his face, he needs to see into Magnus’ eyes as he says this. “I love you for you. I don’t care if you’re a warlock or a mundane; you’re still you, and I’m never letting you go.” 

Magnus’ eyes sparkle. “Never stop surprising me.”

“I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all liked it! Lemme know in the comments! :D
> 
> Also! This has nothing to do with SH, but I got engaged, and I'm excited and will probably be extra lovey dovey with how I write Malec in the near future! (okay, I guess it has a little to do with SH lol)
> 
> Scream at me on [tumblr](http://hourglassmermaid.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/?logged_out=1&lang=en) if you feel like it!


End file.
